Flat Betty & The 4th of July Parade

Now Flat Betty was at work at the Ding Dong Dinner Diner when Mary Lou came flouncing through the door.  “Oh hi Betty”, she said, “are you skating in the Fourth of July parade?  I just bought a brand new pair of skates.”  A little background here – Flat Betty and Mary Lou were old high school rivals.  Flat Betty HAD to have a better looking pair of skates than Mary Lou so she counted up her tips and called Bubba, at the Doodah Skate Company.  “Bubba,” she said, “you HAVE to make me some new skates to go with my Fourth of July outfit!”  Now Bubba had been trying for years to get Flat Betty to go out with him.  So he figured if he did a REALLY great job on those skates, he might have a chance against Harley Hoyt Holcomb – Flat Betty’s current heartthrob.  Little did Bubba know that HH was planning to ask Flat Betty to marry him after the Fourth of July parade.  The day of the parade arrived and Flat Betty put on her best outfit and her new matching skates.  She grabbed an American flag to carry and skated on down to the parade site.  Now in Tweed Town it was customary for cows rather than horses to be ridden in the parade.  And Flat Betty happened to be just behind Moonbeam, the purtiest cow in all of Tweed Town.  Flat Betty was skating along – looking from side to side, every hair in place, well, sorta every hair in place – when all of a sudden she was flat on her behind, legs up in the air, right in the middle of a giant cow patty! 
MORAL OF THE STORY:  New skates aren’t much good if ya don’t pay attention when ya skate behind cows!