Friday, April 19, 2013

Poor Man's Crack - A Collaboration

Georgia in the spring – ahhhhhhhh – mounds of free yellow powder line every crack and crevasse of the cars, driveways, windowsills, streets, and buildings. Hey, if you keep your windows open in the spring you can redecorate for free!

Poor man’s crack. You don’t need a straw. Just walk outside any door and inhale – even a little. You are guaranteed to be on a permanent high low for at least a week. Everyone sounds like Louis Armstrong when they talk. You have to walk around with a bucket under your nose to catch the drips. Coughing in tandem – well actually there is a whole chorus of coughs going on frequently – we have surround sound!

If it is already going to be in our lungs we may as well put it there for good reasons since the street value on it is so low. Here are a few possible uses:

• Tired of dusting around the house… open up all the windows and let a breeze in… if you don’t move any of your knickknacks the dust will become nice and even for a wonderfully uniform look.

• It already proves to be an excellent expectorant if you currently are unable to cough something up. Put that stuff in bottles and on the shelves!

• Why throw away t-shirts when they get that yellowy stain around the collar – one cup of it in the wash will even out that yellow stain all over!

• Extra spices in the kitchen to give your chicken or roast an all natural nutty flavor!

• Do your kids love lemonade? How about Pollinade? Nothing says fun to today’s kids like a drink the color of mucus!

• Magicians can use it in place of expensive magic smoke… one puff to the eyes and no one will see where the rabbit came from!

• Your local CSI team no longer needs to dust to find fingerprints on your car if it gets stolen! Oh wait – more pollen will cover them up before the car is found – scratch that one.

• Let your housecat out for the day and before you know it… no more hairballs… they’ve hacked them all up!

• Ladies… need a new look? Today’s craze is adding it to your makeup routine for that stunning new jaundice look that is taking Hollywood by storm!

The uses are endless!

Ahhhhh – only two and a half (or so) more months left to enjoy this.

Thanks to K and A for the collaboration!


  1. Hilarious! lol I don't know what to do about the dust but have tried eating honey from a local source....that may help you become immune to some of the allergic reactions.....Just a thought.....I don't envy you...Hugs! deb

  2. o dear Lord; glad I'm missing that! but it's funny and thanks for the chuckle.

  3. Ha!!! This gave me a good laugh!! Thank you...I needed it!! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

  4. OMG that dust will make everybody crazy, however your post is very hilarious!!!!!!!

  5. And that's the truth! Lol! Experiencing the tandem coughing as we speak. Don't you also find it aggravating that when the temperature is finally nice enough to open the windows that you can't unless you want a house full of pollen?

  6. Oh how funny! I guess not so funny if you're there.

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I'd love to hear what you think.