Sunday, September 19, 2010

Flat Betty & The 4th of July Parade

Now Flat Betty was at work at the Ding Dong Dinner Diner when Mary Lou came flouncing through the door.  “Oh hi Betty”, she said, “are you skating in the Fourth of July parade?  I just bought a brand new pair of skates.”  A little background here – Flat Betty and Mary Lou were old high school rivals.  Flat Betty HAD to have a better looking pair of skates than Mary Lou so she counted up her tips and called Bubba, at the Doodah Skate Company.  “Bubba,” she said, “you HAVE to make me some new skates to go with my Fourth of July outfit!”  Now Bubba had been trying for years to get Flat Betty to go out with him.  So he figured if he did a REALLY great job on those skates, he might have a chance against Harley Hoyt Holcomb – Flat Betty’s current heartthrob.  Little did Bubba know that HH was planning to ask Flat Betty to marry him after the Fourth of July parade.  The day of the parade arrived and Flat Betty put on her best outfit and her new matching skates.  She grabbed an American flag to carry and skated on down to the parade site.  Now in Tweed Town it was customary for cows rather than horses to be ridden in the parade.  And Flat Betty happened to be just behind Moonbeam, the purtiest cow in all of Tweed Town.  Flat Betty was skating along – looking from side to side, every hair in place, well, sorta every hair in place – when all of a sudden she was flat on her behind, legs up in the air, right in the middle of a giant cow patty! 
MORAL OF THE STORY:  New skates aren’t much good if ya don’t pay attention when ya skate behind cows!  


  1. Or very drunk! My little sister broke her wrist and had to have it pinned and chained and all sorts after attempting a midnight roller skate. Love the doll.


    This story reminds me of something that happened when my son was about 10...

    We decided to take our kids roller skating at a Roller Rink. The four of us were going round and round but I noticed my hubbs (who was about 35 at the time)kept landing on his bumm more than he stayed on his feet...

    That was when a little boy of about 7 or 8 passed the two of us, smiled big, and then looked at my hubbs as he was whizzing by and said really loud...



  3. Ohhh Flat Betty ! too too funny I'm glad you decided to share her stories.

  4. Love these stories. The moment I saw Betty's skates I started laughing. Afraid I am beginning to identify with Flat Betty.

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  6. I haven't got to read all this pretty blog yet but will !!
    Thanks for stopping by.

  7. Skates are truly not good when covered in cow patty. Poor Betty.


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