Thursday, September 23, 2010
The Last of the Flat Betty Tales
Now Flat Betty lived with her mother, Maude, and worked at the Ding Dong Dinner Diner. Her current heartthrob, Harley Hoyt Holcomb, had been about to ask her to marry him but then there was that incident at the Fourth of July parade. HH decided to sew some wild oats first and ran away to become a circus clown. Flat Betty was devastated, and rather than sit home with her mother, who kept nagging, “Ya HAVE to do SOMETHING about that hair!” she started playing bingo.
Now if Rev. Flugle from The Holiness Church of the Sacred Glade KNEW that Flat Betty was playing bingo every Friday night, why he would just have a FIT! But he didn’t know. So every Friday when she got off work, she dressed up, put on her purtiest bright red lipstick (for luck), fluffed up her hair as best she could, and set out to WIN, WIN, WIN! She had her special card with her lucky numbers on it. By the end of the night she lost every tip she had made that day. But our Betty didn’t give up. Her motto was: “I always say if it’s worth doing, it’s worth over doing!” So she did.
Now y’all, one Friday night Bubba (who had a big old crush on Flat Betty) talked her into giving him a teeny good luck kiss. And Betty bingoed FIVE times in a row! WELL, she started taking a little more notice of Bubba. And now she and Bubba are an item in Tweed Town and play bingo most every Friday night.
MORAL OF THE STORY: It takes more than lucky numbers to win at bingo and men named Bubba aren’t particular about hairstyles!