Tuesday, November 20, 2012

In The Middle of a Wind Storm

For a long while I’ve felt like my life is in the middle of a wind storm, ready to just pick me up and swirl me away.  Sometimes I’ve wished it would – some place where it’s calm and serene – where no one needs anything from me – where my mind can just not think instead of wondering and worrying and never stopping.
My step-father Frank, of Frank’s Fractured Fairytales, is finally in assisted living .  I no longer have to wonder if he has fallen and is laying on the floor hurt, or is confused and afraid, or is angry and doesn’t know why, or needs something and there is no one to get it for him.  No matter that it took nearly a year of pleading, arguing, and finally going to court to gain guardianship.  All of that doesn’t matter because I can finally breathe again.
I have learned more about North Carolina laws than I ever wanted to.  I have had to prove myself over and over again.  And never will be able to prove myself to his neighbors who think I’m just after his money (he has none) and his house (which will pay for the assisted living).  You have to develop a very hard shell when you’re going through these things and sometimes it just cracks wide open.  But then you have to plaster that crack back up and know that what you are doing is the right thing – or hope it is.  When Frank asks me the same questions over and over again within minutes, or I can see that he really doesn’t understand fully what is being said – I know I haven’t made a mistake.  And no matter what he’s said to me along the journey and perhaps that someday he won’t know who I am exactly, that’s OK because I know who he is in his heart.
The whirling storm is slowing and I know the calm is coming soon.


  1. I am happy to hear that you have gotten everything settled and Frank is in a place where he can be safe and have his health cared for. Now you can enjoy your time with him without spending it taking care of him. Sometimes it is hard, but in a situation like this, he is safe and that is what counts.


  2. I echo what Debbie said. I know that my mother is safe, fed, taken care of by the staff at her Assisted Living. When she falls someone is there to help her up, check her out and put her safely back into bed. Taking care of our loved ones does involve a hard shell and a loving heart. You've done the right thing. Center yourself now. :)Bea

  3. I am sorry t hear of your troubles, and glad to know you have resolved them and are able to move on. Thanks for your visit and kind words.

  4. Wait,,,was he from "Fractured Fairy Tale's Cartoon Fame Jill??? I loved those!! Oh I am so sorry!! It is so hard!! Hugs to you my dear friend! I'm spending Thanksgiving alone,,,,First Ever. Life gives us hurdles that is for sure!! Love you, be well!!


  5. I hope that you have peace in your heart. You know you did the right thing, Jill. Happy Thanksgiving! <3 Linda

  6. Good for you, Jill. Frank has been blessed to have you as his loving and caring advocate.

    1. Thanks Carol and thanks for stopping by my blog.

  7. Hi Jill. Thank you my sweet for coming to visit me. It feels so "right" to come back to bloggyland now. I cannot say enough how I admire you for taking the reins and looking after Frank. How blessed he is. It has been my prayer (in being married to #3 husband whom I adore and who is 10 years younger than I) that my girls and son will do the same for Mike should I pass before him. He loves them so much and has really no one to look after him when I'm gone. Bless your heart and Franks as well. LoveXOXOX

  8. Hi Girlfriend --
    I just added your blog to the draft post for my Grow Your Blog party - so you are all set! The date is January 19 -- so see you there!


  9. You certainly have been through a rough wind, and Frank is lucky you withstood the storm, for his sake. The heck with the naysayers, they don't know the circumstance and should mind their own P's and Q's! Frank is where he should be, and you needn't feel anything but peace.

  10. Hi Jill. Thank you so much for visiting my blog! After reading your post about Frank, I just want to say , you are an angel for being there for him. I spent most of my life as a geriatric RN and have cared for elderly family members as well. It's not easy. You did the right thing.

  11. OHG Jill, what a year that must have been . I am happy for you that life is calming down now.


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